From My Twisted Mind….

With a title like this, you would assume I am going to talk about some dark and twisted fantasy or observation of the world.   Not exactly…

I just thought that I would analyze the processes that happen inside my brain and how I understand and visualize how things work.  So,  Let us begin:

I visualize my brain as a warehouse of Knowledge.   I have everything I ever have inputted via my senses, stored in there; Labeled categorized, and filed for future access.   Pretty cool eh?

The only problem is…that things….get “misplaced” …over time.  I mean, the stuff is still all in there, but it gets re-shuffled, relabeled, re-categorized, and sometimes just simply lost.

Whenever I try to access a memory, name, word, or bit of information that I have stored;  I imagine I have a crew of guys receiving orders from the front desk on what file they should be looking for, and then they run out to retrieve it.  Similar to Amazon’s Warehouse.   A group of guys in coveralls driving around on Forklifts,  searching for the item or package that has to be shipped out that day. 

The thing is….my guys are “special”  and not in the good kind of way.   I guess you could say sometimes they are either tired, lazy, non-union, ( or union workers for that matter!) or spaced out on some mind altering substance.   Bottom line:   They often find and deliver the wrong information to the front desk!

I guess there is a term for this:   It’s called a Freudian Slip.   Where you are saying one word, but thinking another…and THAT word comes out of your mouth.  Usually in the most embarrassing moments! ( and often times associated with something sexual in nature…..maybe that is why Freud gets the credit and label.) 

But my problem is much more complex that mere sexual mis-steps during conversations.   Oh no!   My problem is when my “crew” inside my mind pull out random words during normal everyday actions.    So visualize this:   I’m trying to tell a story to Cheryl while I’m driving.   Everything is fine,  the story is correctly labeled and the person at the front desk ( me) is reading the pages as they come in…..and then….Nothing!   The story drops off and I have nothing else to offer.   My guys hit the big red button on the wall and signal an alert that there are pages ( or entire chapters!) missing from the story.    Cheryl will try to pull me back by saying, “And then what?”   

But I won’t know….that part is missing.   I will forget why I even started telling the story to begin with!   Other times I will simply input a word that makes no sense at all.   Not even close!   Maybe both words begin with the letter “D”   But the difference between “Divergence” and “Dementia” are HUGE!

So,  the crew in my brain, I guess you could call them the “nerve cells” that find and access the information, bump into each other, tip over loads, or simply fail to read the label properly and cause me headaches and embarrassment on a daily basis. 

So  there you have it.   My guys messing up the warehouse, or failing to make the right web connection for the information.   Guess things would be easier if I only have a handful of boxes in my mind.   Even a trained monkey  could figure out that the right thought is in Box number three!  ( at least one third the time, anyway)

Guess this is one of those posts that try to explain my theories of the world, or my though processes….but probably comes off as a post on self loathing.   Not really….If I DID come off that way, it was probably because I’m currently scoring while I write this and my mind is having a tough time processing the two tasks.  ( Which, I just explained how “challenged” my non- union warehouse crew is…so that probably is a factor)  And I never said that Writing was one of my strong points.  This blog probably proves that best of all.