Oh Subaru! Where Art thou?

So,  As mentioned previously,  we are looking for a Subaru.....something in the form of a sedan...though a forester as been considered.   Anyway,  In our search...a rather entertaining listing has popped up that, being an evaluator of various writing styles,   I have  deemed worth highlighting.
Granted...we are not in the market for something this ld....or old looking...however...the listing goes as follows:   1987 SUBARU Gl 4x4 with true 4wheel drive and lo range

Follow link to read more.    Notable Prose:  "141,000m 

Fabricated from rare minerals excavated from the core of Mount Olympus, artfully designed by Zeus and skillfully handcrafted in the Land of the Rising Sun by the deft hands of the infamous 7 Samurai. This Japanese rice-rocket is unquestionably the most heroic form of transport since the Apollo 11 lunar module. " 
Also:  "Cast as KITT in 1982's Knight Rider TV series, but eventually deemed too intelligent for the role"
" 

Integrated time machine (takes you back to 1987 when you step inside) 

Powered by nuclear fusion (makes Coles/Woolies fuel vouchers redundant)"
"

No power steering (so you better start pumping iron to shred your biceps) 

Analogue clock (ask your Grandfather how to read it). 


PRICE: 

$4,400 or 

Reasonable offers accepted. 

(Example of a reasonable offer: $10,000 +) 
 "
This guy really wants to sell this car to someone with a sense of humor...or nostalgia for the '80's!  
Also worth mentioning.  that someone else out there is cruising the craigslist Subaru links and replied to this listing as follows.   "To the guy with the Subaru You should focus on using your creative writing skills, not selling cars. Looks like Chuck Norris owned this one for a while I assume the car was too scared to rust. Way overpriced though."



The search continues...hopefully  with  someone who is not quite as in love with Subaru as this guy was.   I use his own words as a reference:  "

To date, the most monumental day of your existence was your wedding, or the birth of your children. That's about to change! In fact, you'd trade your spouse and all of your offspring just to test-drive this barbarian.