The Mysterious Art of Cooking... With The Great Ethan Allen. (Emphasis on Mystery!)

I'm a prettty good cook. 

I have to hand it to myself,  I'm an awesome cook.   I can't help it.   I simple love just about anything I whip up.   No matter the Combo of Ingredients!   I don't even need a recipe.  In fact,  Recipes are for Newbs!  ( Same with cooking shows, books and magazines.) 

I would like to give credit to my vast knowledge and experience as a line cook for 10 years in various restaurants.

At least these guys think so. 

 That is correct,  most of my initial work history was founded on cooking food.  And with that experience, I was able to learn various flavor combinations and the ability to "sight measure" ingredients and portions  to get the flavor right.   I could inspect meats and dishes visually and not rely on a timer to tell me when they are done.   Funny how you pick things up without much instruction.

Mom, on the other hand.... 

But one thing I want to make clear is that my cooking skills are in no way related to my family.   Mom did most of the cooking.  Dad helped a little with outdoor grilling, but Mom was the head chef in our household.   And she was TERRIBLE! 

Not the best "Mentor..." 

I would expand that into "she was he worst cook in the WORLD!"  But I know the world is a pretty big place, and I'm sure that there are worse cooks out there.   But let me explain my Mom's cooking Pedigree. 

Her Borscht tasted like WAR!

She came from a line of farmers who ate the worst part of any animal, cooked things that should have been thrown out, and mixed things in a large pot...  similar to one of those chuck wagons on a cattle drive... where the cook is angry, old, and most often drunk.   Mom did not drink, but her cooking tasted as if the person making it had passed out somewhere along the way.

She "cooked" ...kind of. 

Mom's specialty?  Boiled dinner!   Not Soup, mind you.   Not Stew.   Nope.   take the ingredient,  put them in a pan and set to boil.    Once the water is bubbling, serve it. 

She never worked on her "Presentation."

The meat,  usually pork chops or spam, was drippy and floppy like a noodle.   The onions were whole and bitter.   The potatoes still had the skins on them.   The cabbage and celery were mostly soft and mushy, partially still crunchy around the base of the stalks.  It was, by far, her worst and favorite dish to throw at three hungry men.  ( Me, my brother, and my Dad.)   You usually had to be really hungry to be able to stomach that meal.   But we ate it.

Wonder what the REAL stuff tastes like.

Maybe it is actually good.

Don't get me started on her Liver and Onions, Goulash, and Succotash... If those are even spelled correctly.   Whenever I describe them to Russian, Italian, and Polish people,  they have no idea what dish that is.   So I'm sure Mom's names for these things are just plain wrong.   (Even her "German Potato Salad" is NOT the same as the REAL salad the German folks around here make.)   The German Potato Salad is one of the rare gems she was able to consistently make  that tasted good. But, as a rule,  most of her dishes were Swill.   Or as Cheryl calls it  "Compost".

Mom's  Compost Style cooking. 

Perhaps this is why I enjoy my own food so well.  One,  I make it the way I like it.   And Two,  After Mom's dinners,  Almost anything tastes better!

My creation,  I would have taken a picture, but I ate it ALL.

With that huge lead in,  I better cut this short.  I cooked up some Golden Oyster Mushrooms, with Maple syrup, fire oil, and soy sauce.   Mixed in some Cous Cous and an egg.   A couple of dashes of salt.... and a last minute slice of tomato.   Not bad.

Filling and Palatable.   I doubt I will ever find this dish in any fancy restaurant, but I like it and it helps use up the ingredient we have a surplus of.   The Ingredient are fresh and filled with flavor.   What could be better?