A Weekend In Iowa.

I traveled to the distant lands of Iowa once again this weekend.   To spend time with My beloved Cheryl... Who wanted me to bring her my spare computer and sign tax forms.   How romantic!  Well...  That's married life for you.    And love.  

But there were some good moments that happened in between the duties of Marital Bliss....  I ran 8 miles!   All at once!   

Now...  Before you point out that Cheryl ran 10 miles around the same time AND ran an additional 20 miles today... I would have you know that I have never run 8 miles all the way in a single setting before.    I feel that that is quite an accomplishment for me.   Did I mention it was cold?   12 degrees!  And WINDY!   -5 wind chill!  Sure,   Cheryl ran 10 miles in the same conditions.   But I'm not in competition with her.   Besides.... She is a woman!  

But there are consequences for the novice runner that they do not tell you in "Runner's Camp"   And that is the "chaffing" issue you will encounter whenever you run a distance longer than 4 miles.  Ah the price for Wisdom....

Turns out,   there are parts of your body OTHER than your nipples that can be rubbed the wrong way.   I have been aware of the nipple issue before.  ( lesson learned after my first 6 mile run.)  But I guess one of the things they don't tell you if you are a fat person... or formerly fat person... Is that you have additional wobbly bits that can rub on your clothes  Including the tip of Mister Happy!  

But if you are going to run and try to lose the creeping weight of old age,   what can you do about all the rolls and folds and dangly-danglies that want to rub up on your action wear?   Well, apparently they have a solution for those people.  A Thing called... Wait for it...  Ball Butter!    

Not to be confused with "ButterBall."   That's a Turkey!   And that is probably what you feel like asking for Ball Butter at the counter of your local pharmacy or health store. Ball Butter?   Who thinks of these names?  Couldn't they come up with alliteration that was better than Ball Butter?  Besides,  I believe Ball and Butt Butter is Better! Because, Butts Blister toboot!  And no one wants butter on their buns better than a Bumbling blogger with a big butt?  You better believe it buster!  Ball Butter Without the Butt is Bologna! Bigger, Badder, Better, buttercup....

Alright, that is enough of that.   Hopefully we all had a good chuckle making fun of the name of a seemingly important product.   I should probably go out and purchase some soon if I plan on running over 8 miles again.  But as mentioned before,  it was not the dangly famly jewels that were the issue.   Rather,   the area where my Butt and Hamstring meet.   And I'm not sure how I'm going to stop my pants from rubbing the tip of Mr Happy...  ( That sentence brings a rather disturbing picture to mind...  forget I even said it. )   

So much for this rant.    An awkward train of thoughts that make for an uncomfortable topic. But there it is!  I ran 8 miles and now walk like I have been riding a horse for 20 miles.   Did I mention my left foot hurts?   And my knees.   And hips and back.    I could have ranted about those things...  But the topic with the most comedic value once again wins the day.   The take away:   Eth ran 8 miles!   The end.  Hurray!

The other important thing was the brakes on the Bean!   The Bean Subie has been acting up for Cheryl with a squealing, grinding brake application.   I figured she might need new Brake Pads and purchased some to swap out on Saturday.  I have done this before with the Silver Bullet... so it should be ok.    

Except it was cold... and As previously mentioned, I ran 8 miles that morning.   But!  Life is full of challenges!   Bring em on!

WTF!?!?!

Challenge number one.   Theft proof Lug Nuts!   What the CRAP!  Man???   Who puts these on a Subaru Impreza?    Well,  surely the former owner was not an idiot and put the removal socket somewhere in the car... right?   Because,   flat tires happen on the highway all the time and without the special socket, you are screwed!    

This must GO!

Nope!  No special socket.   So we look up a you tube video to discover you cram on a disposable socket to remove it.   And that is what I did.   Luckily,  the former owner still had the old lug nuts in the back by the spare tire.  ( No!  No socket there either... or glove box,  or ashtray.) I broke all special anti-theft lug nuts off and threw them all away and replaced them with normal ones. 

After removing the tire, I notice that Cheryl's brakes were missing something.... the entire pad on the passenger side!  The Rotor was grinding directly on the Caliper!  I think there is enough medal left to continue to work... at least long enough for her to make it to Michigan this week so Andy can look at it.   You see,  Andy (Cheryl's Brother.)  is the Subaru Auto Tech and is planning on doing the head gaskets for Cheryl.    While he has it,  I'm sure he will look over the brakes and give a professional opinion on how bad the caliper is.   Perhaps it will need replacing after all. 

Don't let this happen to you!

So those are the big things that happened this weekend.   Cheryl finished the taxes,  I replaced some brakes, and both Cheryl and I ran a lot!   Sounds kind of "ho-humm"   but for me,  I achieved the impossible by running a distance I previously have never attempted. ( 8 miles!)  That's kind of a big deal.  

Now I'm back in Wisconsin,  ready to tackle another week at the Zebra Warehouse.   Hopefully things will go smoothly and everyone will be in fine spirits after a refreshing weekend of rest.   And Work will be fun, fast, and productive.   Well....   we can hope at least.  

Thanks for stopping in and reading my rants.   I hope everyone had a fun weekend and is ready for a great week!  I hope my candid topics of nipples, butts and balls did not offend anyone. I was actually going for a laugh...