Cheryl In Wonderland...

Also known as:   Kenosha!  That is correct!  Instead of our tradition of coloring Easter Eggs for Easter,  Cheryl decided to come up to Kenosha for a visit!   Lucky Me!   Mostly because I did not have to brave the 5 hour drive to Iowa with an aging Subaru.   Instead... She drove up with the newly revamped and repaired Bean Subie and we got to spend  several almost days together exploring Kenosha.  

Now I know that it has been a couple weeks since my last post.   Phil is now officially gone and there simply was not much else to write about.   Time in the evening had been taken up by my Silver Bullet Subie being repaired and me either having to drop it off or pick it up.   So... Blogging took a back seat. 

But then Cheryl arrived and I, once again,  have something to blog about.  Or at the very least,  I have enough of everything else to lump together for a half-way decent blog post. 

So what did we do of this Easter Weekend?  Well... Nothing too crazy.  Explored Kenosha mostly.    We visited the Mars Cheese Castle

Tenuda's.    The Italian Store with all of the Cool Italian things it offered. 

The outlets!   Which I had never explored before.   We didn't buy anything!  But that did not stop Cheryl from trying on a bunch of things and making me hold all of her stuff while she did it.  

But mostly we ran and Beach Combed.  Did I mention that I will be attempting a Half Marathon  in two weeks?    Um...  Yeah.   Kind of scared.   Cheryl has been running 20-30 miles for the last two weekends and I have been running 9 if I'm lucky.  ( Half marathon... Half the training... because it is half as long....Right?)  Well,   we ran both days at the Petrified Springs Park and I must say that Cheryl is FAST!  Much faster than me.   But that is ok... because I'm running for a different reason.   I might post about my running and life lessons later, but not now. 

And then there was the Beach Combing.   The weather was just on the edge of nice by the big lake for the weekend.   You would think that 50-60's would make walking along the beach tolerable,  but whatever the temp is a few miles inland,  the lake coos things off by about 20 degrees.   Add in the wind and you get the feeling that it is plenty cold.    That being said, it was still tolerable to be out there looking for Beach Glass. 

Beach Glass!   Lake Michigan's claim to fame, next to floating medical waste. ( that was sensationalized news story back in the 80's that has since gone silent.   Either they cleaned it up or it was never an issue to begin with.)   Beach glass is the product of people drinking beer on the beach before laws were made to prevent people from having fun.  Drunk people would naturally toss their finished beer bottles into the natural glass recycling bin known as  Lake Michigan; and 20 years later, you have a valuable gem wash up on the beach where excited tourists collect  the shards and make jewelry out of it for their Etsy Shop!   It's a Win Win Win!   Mother Nature turns  the ugly beer bottles into pretty glass flakes.   The City of Kenosha  promotes the beach as a "Beach Glass Mecca!"  and Tourist clean up the beach... For FREE!     

Cheryl noted that admitting the "History of Heavy Industry  has led to a wonderful beach combing opportunity was an awesome spin on saying that they area was a heavy polluter.  All that aside,   We had fun searching for small shards of frosted, rounded, colored glass in the sand by the shore. It was a great way to spend several hours engaging in a "Zen-like" activity.  Cheryl got to add to her beach glass collection and I enjoyed helping her in her search.   Like hunting for Mushrooms in the Summer.   OR Easter eggs during ...  ah.   Yeah!  Easter! Like it was totally planned. 

I mentioned that Cheryl had the Bean  refurbished two weeks ago.   She took a few days off and headed to Michigan to get the Bean Subaru checked out by the only Subaru Mechanic we can truly Trust:  Andy!  Her Brother!   He did the Gaskets, Brakes, sensors, Cat Radio, and a bunch of other things. Water pump, timing belt, brake caliper replacement, Software upgrade.....  And brought the Bean back into the present.  Hopefully,   Bean will now be able to run for many years. 

That being said,  Silver Bullet had to get new brakes and new wheel hubs last week.   He sounds much better now, but Andy has offered to check him out for me to make sure things are up to snuff.   I would very much like to take him up on his offer if I can.   But I also realize that Andy might give me a verdict of bad tidings.   I know Rust has begun to eat away at Subie.   And that is irreversible.  

So there it is.   Cheryl came to Kenosha and we did stuff.   And it was over too quickly.  I imagine I will have more to blog about when we have our Race in a  a couple weeks.  (it's in Ohio!  Yikes!)   But until then... I will end this blog post with a Wish of a Happy Easter of Everyone.   Hope you got to enjoy friends and Family and remember the real reason we celebrate this Holiday.  It's kind of a big deal in the Bible, in case you were wondering.  ( Bigger than Christmas!)   

So,  Happy Easter!  And thanks for stopping in. 

A Farewell To Phil...

That is correct. It is with a deeply saddened heart to report that  Phil   Er, I mean: The guy who is in the Witness Protection Program will soon be leaving the Herd for the Bright Red Warehouse over The Great Horizon...  

Don't be fooled by that cute bare fur face...

 

 

Haribo!  

 

 

When asked about his decision,  Phil said it was not a "Black and White" issue.   Rather,  it was a  need for more color in his life.   And by "color",  he meant: better pay, more friends, better benefits, more vacation days, more meaning, a gold watch, better uniforms, better food, more hair nets, a better car,  more fame, more glory, higher status, more Dancing Girls, and his own private jet airplane!  

A Short Phil ...  I mean...  In Short.....Phil will be giving up his Sleak and Sexy Stripes for  Rainbows and Teddy Bears!  

And if you ever saw Phil... You would understand why being a gummy bear would be more of his kind of thing. 

Who wants to pet the bear?

And who wouldn't?   Every kid loves Rainbows AND Teddy Bears.  And Haribo has BOTH! They say that the grass is often  greener on the other side of the fence. But what if there were more colors than just green over there?   Wouldn't you want to climb over that fence and play with the Bears too?  

He was a mostly hard worker. And he was fairly reliable...  Showing up  a few days each week. He always usually  never complained and was rarely sometimes a joy to work with. 

Well,  at least he went quick!   After his two weeks notice. And he will be missed... by More than just the people who are throwing things at him.     You see.... Now that Phil is  mostly gone, there will be a huge hole left that Phil once filled.  And that means that Management, along with everyone else in the building, will be scrambling to fill Phil's spot:          That place in the break room.   

Already,  Jazzy Jeff has made a play for Phil's seat at the "cool table" where Tom, Marian, and Jane have their lunch.   I can only guess that Jeff's motives are driven by the  conversation with cooler people.  Although it could also be the fact that Marian and Jane occasionally bring donuts and treats for the table. Or  the  placement against the back of the wall.  Did I mention that Phil was in the Witness Protection Program? We should probably keep that a secret.... BUT.... If I had  allegedly embezzled millions of dollars from the Mob, I would want a seat with my back facing the wall too!  

But there is more than just a good seat in the break room.   With Phil mostly gone now,  that means that a Senior Warehouse Associate spot is now open!  And I might make a play for that.  Now I know what you are thinking: Why would I want to give up my "Material Handler One" position  for a "Senior Warehouse Associate?  Let me tell you friends.  The term "Senior" is not in reference to Phil being over the age of 60.   It means that his slot has more gravitas.  And with a new title comes STATUS!  I know that I can make "Senior Warehouse Associate"  Great Again! If  I get your vote....

So let us remember our feelings for Phil, as we bid him a fond farewell to his new fields and friends.  His becoming a bear will bear no resentment as he bares himself to the unbearable and becomes barely visible  with cute sweet  gummies, hairnets, and beard nets... Rather than a part of the herd.  Already people are placing orders for Red Bears.  A tidal wave of tasty temping teddies!  No wonder everyone is trying to get his contact info.  

So that is all I have.. On this late night as I try to come up with jokes to roast Phil.   Did we mention we had a pizza party for him while he was absent last Friday?   Jeff hit him up for $20 to help defer the costs before he left Thursday.   I know that that might sound a little insensitive to his leaving...  But the party was in his honor after all.  And $ 20 bucks for  $20 bucks worth of Pizza seems like a small price to pay. 

Na, I'm just kidding.   We didn't have any pizza.... Because Phil refused to give us any money.  Talk about ungrateful....

All fooling aside,  Phil was a great guy to work with.   Even when he was not working...  which was often.   (Kind of true for all of us...  since it was a start up and there are many moments of boredom.) Phil had lots of stories, jokes, and musical trivia to entertain us with.   Along with an often misguided sports loyalty that Fransisco (The PIT driver, not the city by the bay.) often called him out on.  But I know nothing about sports.   And even less about music.   So most of Phil's stories  were tuned out as I tried to educate him on Mushrooms and Fish. We made a good team.  

Who will replace Phil?

And now that he is going to Haribo...   The three Amigo's of the DIM squad will soon be down to one.   Me.   But I am confident I will find new recruits to fill in the vacancies.   Just like the three stooges found replacements for Curly and Shemp. I imagine the logical choice will be John and Jeff.  I don't think Paul wants the job, even though he held the title "Phil 2.0" for a few weeks there. 

And in the event that Phil finds that Scott has been employed at Hariobo ahead of him... and has a change of heart...  despite the promises of a jet airplane....  I have heard that our Manager, AJ has extended an open invitation back to Zebra.   With a pay cut and a different shift.  It's good to know you are always welcome back if things don't work out.   Or if Scott is working at your new job. 

So a Heart Felt Farewell to Phil!   The greatest non-PIT driver Zebra or GXO has ever known.  He will be missed.   And not just by the people who are looking for him.  ( Did I mention he was in the Witness Protection Program? We should probably keep that a secret...)   For this reason, many of the above information has been changed or censored for the protection of the innocent.  And Phil.

Find the Phil in this fiasco!

Phil?   Phil who?

There is no one here by that name.... anymore.    Wink! Wink!...  (We got ya covered Phil.  Your secret is safe with us! )

A Weekend In Iowa.

I traveled to the distant lands of Iowa once again this weekend.   To spend time with My beloved Cheryl... Who wanted me to bring her my spare computer and sign tax forms.   How romantic!  Well...  That's married life for you.    And love.  

But there were some good moments that happened in between the duties of Marital Bliss....  I ran 8 miles!   All at once!   

Now...  Before you point out that Cheryl ran 10 miles around the same time AND ran an additional 20 miles today... I would have you know that I have never run 8 miles all the way in a single setting before.    I feel that that is quite an accomplishment for me.   Did I mention it was cold?   12 degrees!  And WINDY!   -5 wind chill!  Sure,   Cheryl ran 10 miles in the same conditions.   But I'm not in competition with her.   Besides.... She is a woman!  

But there are consequences for the novice runner that they do not tell you in "Runner's Camp"   And that is the "chaffing" issue you will encounter whenever you run a distance longer than 4 miles.  Ah the price for Wisdom....

Turns out,   there are parts of your body OTHER than your nipples that can be rubbed the wrong way.   I have been aware of the nipple issue before.  ( lesson learned after my first 6 mile run.)  But I guess one of the things they don't tell you if you are a fat person... or formerly fat person... Is that you have additional wobbly bits that can rub on your clothes  Including the tip of Mister Happy!  

But if you are going to run and try to lose the creeping weight of old age,   what can you do about all the rolls and folds and dangly-danglies that want to rub up on your action wear?   Well, apparently they have a solution for those people.  A Thing called... Wait for it...  Ball Butter!    

Not to be confused with "ButterBall."   That's a Turkey!   And that is probably what you feel like asking for Ball Butter at the counter of your local pharmacy or health store. Ball Butter?   Who thinks of these names?  Couldn't they come up with alliteration that was better than Ball Butter?  Besides,  I believe Ball and Butt Butter is Better! Because, Butts Blister toboot!  And no one wants butter on their buns better than a Bumbling blogger with a big butt?  You better believe it buster!  Ball Butter Without the Butt is Bologna! Bigger, Badder, Better, buttercup....

Alright, that is enough of that.   Hopefully we all had a good chuckle making fun of the name of a seemingly important product.   I should probably go out and purchase some soon if I plan on running over 8 miles again.  But as mentioned before,  it was not the dangly famly jewels that were the issue.   Rather,   the area where my Butt and Hamstring meet.   And I'm not sure how I'm going to stop my pants from rubbing the tip of Mr Happy...  ( That sentence brings a rather disturbing picture to mind...  forget I even said it. )   

So much for this rant.    An awkward train of thoughts that make for an uncomfortable topic. But there it is!  I ran 8 miles and now walk like I have been riding a horse for 20 miles.   Did I mention my left foot hurts?   And my knees.   And hips and back.    I could have ranted about those things...  But the topic with the most comedic value once again wins the day.   The take away:   Eth ran 8 miles!   The end.  Hurray!

The other important thing was the brakes on the Bean!   The Bean Subie has been acting up for Cheryl with a squealing, grinding brake application.   I figured she might need new Brake Pads and purchased some to swap out on Saturday.  I have done this before with the Silver Bullet... so it should be ok.    

Except it was cold... and As previously mentioned, I ran 8 miles that morning.   But!  Life is full of challenges!   Bring em on!

WTF!?!?!

Challenge number one.   Theft proof Lug Nuts!   What the CRAP!  Man???   Who puts these on a Subaru Impreza?    Well,  surely the former owner was not an idiot and put the removal socket somewhere in the car... right?   Because,   flat tires happen on the highway all the time and without the special socket, you are screwed!    

This must GO!

Nope!  No special socket.   So we look up a you tube video to discover you cram on a disposable socket to remove it.   And that is what I did.   Luckily,  the former owner still had the old lug nuts in the back by the spare tire.  ( No!  No socket there either... or glove box,  or ashtray.) I broke all special anti-theft lug nuts off and threw them all away and replaced them with normal ones. 

After removing the tire, I notice that Cheryl's brakes were missing something.... the entire pad on the passenger side!  The Rotor was grinding directly on the Caliper!  I think there is enough medal left to continue to work... at least long enough for her to make it to Michigan this week so Andy can look at it.   You see,  Andy (Cheryl's Brother.)  is the Subaru Auto Tech and is planning on doing the head gaskets for Cheryl.    While he has it,  I'm sure he will look over the brakes and give a professional opinion on how bad the caliper is.   Perhaps it will need replacing after all. 

Don't let this happen to you!

So those are the big things that happened this weekend.   Cheryl finished the taxes,  I replaced some brakes, and both Cheryl and I ran a lot!   Sounds kind of "ho-humm"   but for me,  I achieved the impossible by running a distance I previously have never attempted. ( 8 miles!)  That's kind of a big deal.  

Now I'm back in Wisconsin,  ready to tackle another week at the Zebra Warehouse.   Hopefully things will go smoothly and everyone will be in fine spirits after a refreshing weekend of rest.   And Work will be fun, fast, and productive.   Well....   we can hope at least.  

Thanks for stopping in and reading my rants.   I hope everyone had a fun weekend and is ready for a great week!  I hope my candid topics of nipples, butts and balls did not offend anyone. I was actually going for a laugh...

Tuesday Embroidery And Car Repair.

 It's late!  So I shall be brief ( -ish).   I got the part for the Subie today and replaced the heat sensor in the air intake filter box. ( or what ever the official Subie name for it is...) So easy I barely had to use any tools.   And I did it in the driveway in mu socks.  mostly because I was too lazy to put on shoes, but also because I was eager to get it replaced and behind me on my "things to do" list.    Winner!

And then... I jumped into Embroidery.   I have been falling behind after my "unsuccessful weekend" plans.   So.. tonight,  I am mostly caught up on the jobs I had been sitting on.   I finished up both of Reggie's sweatshirts.  ( Heavy Hoodies!  Tough!  The material was by far the thickest I have ever had to play around with.   It was a challenge to get the hoop on the material and stay put!   But luckily,  it all worked out.

Then there was Joan's Zip-up hoodie.  It was nice and easy doing this one because it had a Zip on the front and the material was much thinner than Reggie's.  Easy to access the hoops and keep the extra material out of the danger zone of action!  

Then there was AJ's...  The boss!   He wanted a fleece with just black thread.    Like Joan's, it had a zip on the front so it was easy to maneuver.  And I think the black thread looks sharp!  

The problem with the fleece is that the thread disappeared the moment it began.   So, I had to do a little something special to keep it on top and crisp against the fluffy background.   It worked like a charm!  And I'm sure veteran embroidery foks could have told me of this little "Pro-Tip" had I had time to inquire.... But I did not.   This is a "shoot from the hip... Learn as you go... Sink or Swim in the deep end of the pool" scenario!   And I feel like I have made some progress today.. Enough to give up valuable sleep time to blog about it. 

But I still have 5 T- shirts and a Baseball Hat for "Outbound Matt."   So... Enjoy the moment of recovery while it lasts.... In the mean time.  Time to get some ZZZZ's and post this blog.   Much shorter than usual, but it is a mid-week one...  So thanks for stopping in.

The Setting Moon?