Saying Farewell To My Best Friend.

 This weekend I said goodbye to my best friend... Forever.  My "Better Half" that I have known for over half of my life.  

And it hurts. 

For over a year now, we have lived separate lives.... And  I have tried to figure out a way to bring us back together.  But I have failed.  It is over. Apparently....  It was over all along without me truly realizing it....  And there is now no recovery. All that is required now is to make it official.  A process that I have been working on over this last weekend. 

I never thought it would come to this.   Never in a hundred years would I have thought that I would be in this position...  Trying to plan for an uncertain future. Alone.  Without Cheryl by my side.  I always believed we made a good team and together, we could overcome any obstacle.   But I guess I was alone in that belief. 

In this world, everything eventually dies.   Trees, Cats, Businesses, and even Relationships.  I had planned and promised to let death determine the end of our marriage.  But life has thrown us a curve-ball that I must have missed.  Perhaps both of us missed it. For in the end,  we have decided  that separate lives are the best and only way to proceed.

The process should be easy.  We have no assets, no house, no children, and no cats to separate or divide between us..  We already swapped titles for the cars.   I now have the title for the Silver Bullet Subie and She has the title for the Bean. 

 So now Cheryl is free to go on with the life she always wanted.  A Life... Without Me. To pursue a Career in journalism and  use her writing skills as they were meant to be used.    She can now run any race she wants and travel to any destination she chooses.  With anyone she wants...  Cheryl, who is no stranger to achieving great things,  has once again managed to do what I thought would be impossible:  She has made me no longer care.

She might be losing a husband.,  but I have lost everything.  I have lost a friend, a partner.  I have lost playful  conversations, physical intimacy,  those moments of Bliss and Love.    Everything... Except the memories.  The memories of the laughter, the joy, the sorrows, the scenic views and the long, country walks.  The morning smiles  with sunlight in her hair; the goodnight kisses and the warmth of her body next to mine.   The deep, thoughtful  conversations and the midnight whispers.  All of those memories.... Over 26 years worth.... now only bring pain in my heart.    And I wonder if I will ever be able to forget them or this feeling that they dredge up.  Because instead of blessed nostalgia,  They only serve as a reminder of what went wrong. 

I have also lost her Family.   A family I was actually quite fond of.   And since I no longer have my parents; And my brother and I rarely speak anymore...  Her family was the ONLY family I had in my life. I doubt they know... yet....   What exactly happened between us.  But I will leave that to Cheryl to tell them.   Because I doubt I will ever see  any of them again. And that is a sad and painful thought.

But a Man who has lost everything has nothing left to lose!   And that is a POWERFUL position to be in.   I don't know what my future holds,   But I will rise up and discover a new part of my story that has yet to be written.  And this story will be mine alone to write.  

As for this chapter of my story... And this blog.   I am wondering how I should proceed.   It started out as a carving blog, and morphed into a running blog with occasional scenes of car repair, stocking manufacturing, Origami videos, and mushroom foraging.  In short, it became a blog about my life and how I shared it with with Cheryl.  Had I abandoned this blog before the Move to Iowa, I would not have had all of these experiences recorded  in the same place.   But now.... As I re-read these old posts.... How can I possibly continue my thoughts when half of my subject material is gone?  

But a blog should be about one's own life.   And all of the good and bad that happens during it.   But I'm afraid I have more people reading this blog than I suspect.   And perhaps I should keep some of my next moves a little more close to the chest.

A "Successful" Chalk Event.

I drove to Wellman on Wednesday and tried to prepare for the Thursday Chalk Event that the local Library was throwing for the town.   There were a number of other events going on, But I was asked to be in Charge of the chalk thing.   Guess I must have had a reputation back in the day.   And since Chalking on the sidewalk is a rather fun thing for me,   I decided to accept the offer.  

The director  asked me what I needed to prepare and I gave a few tips.   Chalk obviously.   But I actually had plenty for everyone in my own personal stock.   They bought a case of the sidewalk mix as a back up, just in case.   And a few extra charcoal briquettes.  I found a few old dry erasers and commandeered them for my own selfish purpose.   In other words, we had plenty of supplies to get the job done. 

I woke up early and drew the basic outline in charcoal.   And then I waited.   I think the event started at noon and I had everything set up by 8 A.M.     So...  Kind of a long wait.  

But eventually the director came to chat with me and the rest of the staff fired up some hotdogs and set out some gift baskets for the kids.   I think they figured there were over 140 kids that showed up. ( based on hot dogs missing.) That was more than I was thinking at least. 

None of the usual suspects showed up. ( my inner circle of Chalk kids who used to help me.)  Instead, there were a lot of younger kids that I had never seen before.   Many of them had no idea what to do or even how to start.  It seems rather simple, but using the chalk and the charcoal is a game changer when to comes to blending colors and outlining your designs.  Luckily, there were also a number of adults there to help show the kids  how things worked.  ( Adults seem to catch on a little bit faster.)  

I'm not sure if the entire Mural was 100% completed, because I left after about an hour.   I had to get back to Wisconsin and wanted to get a head start while there was daylight.  The librarians sent me a number of pics of the kids with the mural still incomplete. The event was only to last an hour, but the kids could stay as long as they wanted.   And a Mural of this size would take me an entire WEEK to complete!  ( I have done similar sized themes at the same place before.) But having an Army of Minions certainly helps.   AND having parents helping the minions is a Force Multiplier!  ( Some Army Lingo there....)  I left all of my chalk there for the kids to use.  I figured they would get better use out of it than I have over the last year.   Before I came to Wisconsin, I left over half of my "left over" chalk to the school.   I heard they used it up and you could see all of the designs they drew around the building and adjacent golf coarse sidewalk.   That made me happy.  

So now I'm back in Wisconsin and I enjoyed a peaceful day of catch up.   I ran two loops to Parkside and back. ( It could be as far as 13 miles!) and did  walked around the forest this afternoon looking for Mushrooms. ( I found nothing!)   The big thing is that my legs no longer hurt after I run that distance.   Either I am getting stronger or my knee, hip and ankle pain that used to plague me are now numbed to non-existent. Either way, I'll take it.  I'm happy I no longer walk like an old man after running 6 miles!

The weekend is upon us, and My plans have changed.   I hope I  will find things to do to have fun and continue the long needed relaxation.   Wednesday and Thursday were long days with very little sleep.   So Friday was a welcome change from that.  And I still have two days left!  How awesome is that!

I hope everyone is  planning on having a great weekend this weekend.   Weekends mean so much more now that I have a regular job.  And if I get the rare weekend where I don't have to play "catch up,"  all the better.  Hope everyone has a great weekend.   And Thanks for stopping in.

Patty's Back! At The Zebra Warehouse.

I just wanted to post a quick mention of the big news today.   Patty's back!   "Who is Patty?"  You may ask?   She is the all-important computer girl who looks up lost things, sends friendly email reminders, and generally fixes inbound things that are broken.   ( From an I.T. perspective.)  Honestly, I'm not entirely sure of what she does, but she is an important part of the inbound team and we have missed her ever since Rachel has had to take up both her and Patty's job since patty has been gone.  Let's just say her job is unique.

We were afraid Patty had been sucked up in the great Haribo tornado that has now claimed three of our best employees! (Well,   that's only if you count  Phil....  Remember Phil?)  Apparently everyone who makes the move LOVES it at Haribo...   ( All that sugar in their candy has caused some sort of addiction, I bet.) And Patty has family that works there, so it was logical that we feared the worst.  She had been gone for a while due to family issues and we feared she would be gone forever.

But she is back!   And I just wanted to acknowledge that on the blog.   Mostly just as a record and a heads up for those Zebra employees who tune in to my ramblings from time to time.  ( Including Phil....  Are you still there Phil?   Come in Phil... Come in....)  

In other news:  Remember when I said we would have 6 trucks on Monday.   Turns out to be 7!  And about 90 FedEx packages in addition to the usual receive load.  It was a busy day.   And before I go off on a rant or tangent,  let me just say that we only got one of those trucks fully processed.  ( TX5 Texas...  I'll leave it at that.)  It was slow going and half way through the day we lost one of our clerks. So our

Like tallying bananas!

In-Bound Team was missing one of our Managers, Rachael, Marian, and Patty had to train for most of the day, so she was booked up as well.   Tomorrow, another clerk will be missing for Habitat For Humanity so we will be short handed yet again.  

But all that work makes the days fly by!   And there is a certain team building that occurs when a group of people face hardship together.  But all that matters for me is getting to Wednesday that much faster.   I'm ready for some Chalking!   

So Welcome Back Patty!   We missed you.   And I'm sure everyone is more than happy to see you back on the team.  Haribo can wait just a little longer.   

Thanks for stopping in.

A Kenosha Kite Festival.

Today, after Church,  Dave and I visited a local park where they were holding the Kenosha Kite Festival.   ( I don't know the official name. but that sounds good enough for me.) And just like rain on the 4th of July,   it was a day where the wind could have been more cooperative.   In other words, it was a peaceful calm day at the Lake Michigan lake shore. 

But that did not stop folks from having a go at it.   And the idea that there was "NO" wind is not entirely true.   A shall breeze was all it could muster for the limited time we were visiting.    It was enough of a breeze to get a few kites in the air and the pros made it look easy.  I never knew there were professional kite flyers...  But apparently there are! All the way from Vancouver!   ( That's a city in Canada for those folks educated in the public school system.) 

We did a lap and resisted the urge to buy a kite to show these kids how to fly them properly.  (A reference back to my kite flying days when I was training to be a ninja... But that is for another blog posting.) IN the end, Dave shook hands with a Police friend and I scored an IKEA coupon...  so I think we made out in the black on this one.   It was fun to watch and see all of the other people having a good time...  Even with the wind not  giving its best.    Incidentally,  the wind did seem to pick up a bit just before we left.   Almost everyone who was trying to fly a kite, got it up into the air for more than a few seconds.  

Other than that, I changed Subie's oil and dusted off my chalk collection.   I have until Tuesday night to get everything ready and set for the big event on Thursday.    Hopefully, there will be much to blog about then.   I talked to Cheryl and she invited me to a RC airplane show and a Tractor pull!  Sounds like the best Saturday Event EVER!   (I mean.... Who wouldn't want to see a tractor Pull/parade?) 

Oh,  that's right... Cheryl!   She has to go for her work and is inviting me along for the ride.   Little does she know that I plan on enjoying myself as I love RC airplanes AND tractor parades.  So the joke is on her.... I also like old cars and military hardware...  I think it might be a guy thing.   Or just me.  Either way, I'm looking forward to it. 

Wow!  Two posts this weekend.   Who would have thunk it?  I must have been motivated to write for some reason.   Then again,  I did  leave a few of the other tasks for another day. Namely:  Clearing and organizing the next section of the basement and cleaning up the floor a bit.   But I'm thinking I will have time for that later and the dirt never goes anywhere without me moving it, so it will stick around and wait for me.  

Hope everyone had a great weekend and is looking forward to Monday as much as I am.  ( I really am!    We are supposed to get 6 trucks tomorrow!  FUN!) Warehouse work is perhaps the greatest secret they never told us when prepping us for the world out of High School.  Otherwise, everyone would want to do this job.  

Have a great week and thanks for stopping in.

Another Saturday Of Unrelaxing Activity.

Normally I would say I was "relaxing" by doing things that are calm and low energy.  Things that allow me to find my "Zen" while doing them.  Today was not really one of those days. 

First of all,  I find Saturday's very short for the number of Activities I have to cram into them.  That alone makes them a little more hectic than the regular work day.  So... in addition to the usual laundry catch up for the week,  I also have to do a longer exercise routine.  

And that includes a longer run.... Which I did today.   13 Miles!  ( I think.. Could be longer.) How did I get 13 miles when I only did 12 last week?   ( I think... That could have been longer too!)   Turns out the road has been under construction for nearly three weeks now.   And it has been annoying to run and drive on while whoever tore it up dilly dallies before finishing the job.  Well today, they finally started the "finishing process."   On a Saturday!  

Why on a Saturday?   I don't know... Overtime?   All the while they have not been doing much to ready the road for the black top.  But all that does not matter!  I was thrilled that it was finally getting finished and had hoped that I would be able to catch them as they made it towards Dave's house.  

Which they did not.   ( Figures!) Curb your Enthusiasm, Eth!    I talked to one of the guys and he said they were only working until 2 P.M. and would try to top as much as they could.   Also,  this top was only the first of three layers.  I can only imagine how long we are going to have to drive on the primary layer before the eventually add the remaining two.  

To their credit,  they were working pretty fast.   When I left for my run, they has just started.   By the time I had arrived for the second go around,  they had already finished a small side section and had rounded the bend!  I ran home to grab my camera and snap a few pics of the men in action.  (And that is how I added an extra mile onto my initial long run.)

I noticed there were no women on the crew.  Mandatory diversity fails once again! Did I mention it was hot?   Did I mention it was stinky?   Did I mention it was dirty?  I wonder why females would not want a piece of that action.  A Manly career that pays well... With Benefits!  I guess the Patriarchy is still an issue in some fields of work.....

After snapping the pics and returning back to the house, I finished up the remaining loop around Parkside.   By this time it was just after 10 and the heat started to turn up.   But somehow, I managed to finish the loop without walking and without injury.   I even got to pet a dog along the way.   A Run just isn't a Run unless I pet at least one dog while I'm doing it. 

Before

After... Still needs work.

After the run,  I  got to finishing up one of those additional projects I hinted at last week.  The "fishing section" of Dave's basement is a bit of a mess.  I didn't get much done today, but I added  the shop light and peg board for the back.  I also cleaned up a bit and attempted some preliminary organization.  I may have more time tomorrow to attack it. In the mean time,  I did manage to clean up a lot of the garbage that was cluttering the area just behind it.  That means another full container for Garbage Day!

And now I am finally relaxing.  Although I ache all over.  I honestly don't know how Cheryl does this everyday.  ( And faster!)  I don't think this is getting any easier, but I do find my pain threshold has increased slightly.  My foot no longer bothers me at mile 4 like it used to!   And my knees sink into a dull ache around mile 8... Eventually the entire lower half of me goes numb and my arms start to hurt. Perhaps the goal is for my entire body to go numb.... Then I will be unstoppable!  (Maybe.) 

Hope everyone is enjoying their Weekend so far.  Tomorrow is another busy day with an Oil change, Chalk inventory, and preparation for my Chalk Festival on Thursday. Hopefully things will go as planned and I will have a great time to blog about.   Fingers crossed.  In the mean time,  Thanks for stopping in and have a great rest of your Day.