You Can Pick Your Friends, But Not Your Relatives, Unless You Are On Facebook....

The "Fantasy Family Gathering."

I have never been a really big "Family Person".  It probably stems back to those days when I was a  loner as a child.   Or perhaps it is because I avoid large gatherings of People who know me, or maybe I just don't like being in a "club" and choose to remain "unaffiliated".  Who knows?     But one thing is certain,  as I look out at my brother and extended family,  I don't get the same warm and fuzzy social buzz by staying in touch and rekindling past relationships.  

The "ACTUAL" family gathering.

I have a theory though!   I think I do not like being around people who knew me back when I was a stupid, awkward, clumsy, unattractive fat kid growing up.    I did a lot of dumb things.   ( I know... Haven't we all?)  But I simply do not enjoy being reminded of all of those moments.   Yes, I know they build character.  But if anyone has to know about them, I would rather they be told by me... so I can at least put a comedic spin on it.  ( If I must be humiliated,  I would want to make people laugh in the process.....)  and this is probably the reason I have not been to a family Reunion on either side of my family for over 30 years.  

It is true,  I have lots of stories... of other family
members.

But recently,  I have discovered Facebook.   I mostly  only got on that platform to promote my AWESOME BLOG!  ( Because, I think my blog is pretty awesome....)  And  eventually ....my brother found me.  

Something like that... 

My brother....  Perhaps no one has more stories of me in my most embarrassing moments than him.  It is probably one of the main reasons I avoid him.  It is true that he was ALSO tangled  up in the same shenanigans that I feel so conscious about, but he usually does not register the same feelings.   

"Genther Gene" in Action. 

Eric got the "Genther Gene" that made him the "Life of the Party" the "Social Butterfly" and the ability to make friends out of people he just met a few seconds ago.  Perhaps it is a gift.   Maybe it is a curse.  Either way, I did not get that gene.  

Along with my Brother's "Facebook Friendship" came a whole bunch of names of people I went to high school with; worked in Alaska with; were neighbors with; and ultimately....  people I was related to.  ( I know that is not the best sentence...Cut me some slack!  I have to score PTE all day at Pearson.)   I was swamped with "Facebook Friends Requests" from people who knew me.   However, I barely knew them.  In fact,  I forgot many of them! 

Luckily for me,  Facebook offers the opportunity to either deny or ignore requests.   And also... the opportunity to "unfriend" people.   Well,  I have not denied anyone... Mostly I simply ignore them.   It seems more kind  than simply telling them "I know we had fun back in the day, but I no longer want to be your friend... or relative."  It's nothing personal!  Just me wanting my "Alone Time".  And I only unfriend the Korean Hackers who stole my account and continue to force me to accept Korean speaking Facebook folks.  ( Long story for another time.) 

But Recently, I discovered something that has chipped away at my icy exterior.  I have been accepting friends that are "distant relatives"   Cousins or aunts that I have not seen in over 30 years.   Some of them I barely recognize!   With a little luck,  maybe many of them, aside from my name,  won't even recognize me!  It is like inviting a stranger over.... kind of.   A Stranger who knows someone who knows someone who knows the rest of your family.   And this way,  the family can learn about me without me actually being there.  It's a Win Win! 

And then there are the Tall Tale Stories that come up at family gatherings.   (Not that anyone would ever bring up my name at a family reunion.)  And the ability for "Plausible Deniability".   If anyone ever asks if I really said this or that, I can deny it...  or tell them they heard it wrong on the internet.  There is a Mystique to being a rare sight at reunions or parties.   I like that word.   I also like the word "Elusive." 

Now I know Facebook keeps a record of things I write or say.  But I'm counting on people to not be so ... ( Are you ready for this word?)    Fastidious!   (Fas-tid-i-ous :very attentive to and concerned about accuracy and detail.)  It helps to be married to someone with a Master's Degree in English.... All those big words.

So there it is.   I don't hate my family; mostly they simply terrify me... which is  way better.  I only "friend" distant cousins who have not seen me in years and I try to promote the blog so they can tell their families that I'm doing just fine....  and I will not have to hear those: "Remember when you were a  stupid, awkward, clumsy, unattractive fat kid growing up?"  questions/stories.     Or actually have to talk with people face to face...  It's a Win Win Win!  

'Cause I'm a Winner!  ( Most of the time.....)