days...Cheryl calls me "Midas" for a reason. and sometimes it is true. Like a Seinfeld Episode, On certain days, everything I touch gets worse! Tonight, before we started painting, Cheryl asks me to vacuum a bit so she can have time to sew. Believe it or not, I didn't mind for a couple of reason. One: Cheryl always manages to mess up the Vacuum and I end up taking it apart and unraveling the ball of yarn she has run over,( causing the smoke, burning smell, and high pitched whine) Two: Cheryl never empties the vacuum, so it loses suction 5 second after she starts it. and Three: Cheryl is kinda short so I have to reach the corners etc. And 4: Any man can vacuum...right? So, I start in the kitchen. I have to empty the vacuum and, right away, lose the cover to the filter. I look everywhere but can't find it....as soon as I ask Cheryl for help...It miraculously 
appears! Ok, Slow start but now it's ready. I now have to unravel the cord that Cheryl just loops over the handle. Five minutes later ( and several choice words) It's untangled and the floor is covered with attachments. I'm getting frustrated now...The vacuum is dropping parts like autumn leaves! Slow down, breath deep ....start it up. start vacuuming.. I get the little bits of cat food and felt scraps easy. Then I see I can't get the area around the table.
I decide to move the table ..or else Cheryl will point out that I missed a bunch of stuff and I suck at vacuuming ( no pun intended) So I move the table. Start vacuuming and BANG! hit my head on the kitchen light! (OUCH!) but that is not the bad part. the light now breaks out of the ceiling, and swings like a pendulum and smashes into Cheryl's sewing machine. sending it crashing to the floor where the front door and the light bulb break! With this, still rubbing my damaged skull, Cheryl comes out and wonders why I can't do a simple task like vacuum the carpet. You see, She is convinced that I "mess up on purpose" so I won't be asked to do that task. ( same with laundry, put it all in one load right? saves on soap and time...what's wrong with that) To be fair, this is why I cook. Cheryl doesn't cook very well ( I'll leave it at that) So now she is mad at me ( not really) because we have to go to the store to buy another bulb so she can sew tonight. She really is not angry ( she loves me after all) It's just that she is right on my Midas touch on certain days. BA!! Now she won't let me vacuum anymore.
appears! Ok, Slow start but now it's ready. I now have to unravel the cord that Cheryl just loops over the handle. Five minutes later ( and several choice words) It's untangled and the floor is covered with attachments. I'm getting frustrated now...The vacuum is dropping parts like autumn leaves! Slow down, breath deep ....start it up. start vacuuming.. I get the little bits of cat food and felt scraps easy. Then I see I can't get the area around the table.
I decide to move the table ..or else Cheryl will point out that I missed a bunch of stuff and I suck at vacuuming ( no pun intended) So I move the table. Start vacuuming and BANG! hit my head on the kitchen light! (OUCH!) but that is not the bad part. the light now breaks out of the ceiling, and swings like a pendulum and smashes into Cheryl's sewing machine. sending it crashing to the floor where the front door and the light bulb break! With this, still rubbing my damaged skull, Cheryl comes out and wonders why I can't do a simple task like vacuum the carpet. You see, She is convinced that I "mess up on purpose" so I won't be asked to do that task. ( same with laundry, put it all in one load right? saves on soap and time...what's wrong with that) To be fair, this is why I cook. Cheryl doesn't cook very well ( I'll leave it at that) So now she is mad at me ( not really) because we have to go to the store to buy another bulb so she can sew tonight. She really is not angry ( she loves me after all) It's just that she is right on my Midas touch on certain days. BA!! Now she won't let me vacuum anymore.
