Not really. I guess if you can joke about depression…either you are not really depressed…OR things have gone so far over to the dark side that they begin to look funny. I’m not sure where I am at the moment. I guess you could understand a little depression with a cat passing and an ever uncertain future. But tonight we came home to a wonderful surprise….
Our Apartment has flooded….again! This time from the ceiling in the bathroom. AND it is HUGE! Leaving a puddle that has migrated into our kitchen and hallway between bedrooms. YEAH! And here I am thinking that the Spring Flood Season was over!
Well, at moments like this you call the landlord, Preferably BEFORE dinner. Except that the cell phone is out of battery ( RANDOM!) and the reception around Wellman has never been very good to begin with. So, I just had enough time to introduce myself and blurt out “Bathroom….Water…..Rooftop….BEEP!” Hopefully they will understand. I guess I can call them back in and hour when the cell charges back up a bit. As I’m Writing this, the “above us” neighbors are taking a shower! YEAH! Maybe a little indoor rainstorm will cheer me up even further.
Normally, I fight depression with Anger. It angers me when things are thrown at me that upset my “normal” routine of life. And it Angers me to feel sad, lonely and …well, depressed. But NOW things have just become silly. At some point, you actually are curious just how bad things can get.
Aside from that, I have this feeling of anxiety that I have not been able to successfully pinpoint. Scoring is winding down for the year and there are no new prospects for employment. Cheryl has mentioned her desire to phase out stockings and my origami has never been profitable, sustainable, or even desirable as of late. So…To fight the Dark Places in my mind and keep them from taking over…..I go for bike rides.
Long Bike Rides! The Cool thing about riding a bike is that the heat is usually not as big of a factor compared to running. The bad thing is doing it alone after work. Alone with your thoughts can be just as depressing as the thoughts that you are trying to exercise. ( literally exercise!) Sometimes I think up things that a pretty exciting and I feel like I need to rush home to put them down on paper….but alas. They always fade away before I get that far.
Perhaps it is time to work on my next novel. I have had several stories bouncing around in my brain for a while now but never seem to have the time. As it is, I’m booked up for the next several weeks…even my weekends are busy doing “things”. If Only there was more time.
Also, just when you are feeling “safe” in the sleepy little town of Wellman, Iowa. ( depressed, angry, sad, and anxious….but safe!) we are told early this morning how a runner training for a marathon got hit by a car and died in the hospital just several miles away. The Lady lived in Wellman! Yes! Let’s run around the country roads Cheryl! YEAH We live in WELLMMAN! What could possibly go wrong?
It’s not like I’m going to climb into my car and run people down with the Subie. ( I couldn’t resist! A Subaru being used for a Stunt Shot!…How cool is that?!?!) No! this is my my Subaru…..I would never dream of hurting the paint on the hood doing some You Tube Ultimate Failure video.