When Calibration Goes Bad….

Yesterday, we had to take a calibration set at the job.   In short form:  it is a test to keep your “scoring range” calibrated to the standard that you had after qualifying several months ago.   Basically it is to keep you fresh and confident to score the papers.   By now, they are a routine thing and it is fairly simple to get over 75% with your eyes closed.   The challenge now should be to get 100% on one so you have bragging rights over lunch!

However….sometimes you have a bad day.  Like I did….yesterday.

Now.  To be fair,  I had high expectations for myself because I have been acing the last several sets of both training AND calibrations with about an 85% average.    I had my eye set on that 100% mark  ( something I have achieved before during the first part of this project) because everyone else has been landing a perfect score lately.   I thought my time was due..

Our room leader must have thought that this was a simple test this time.  ( possibly because SHE scored 100% on it)  and decided to share her confidence with others as they picked up the test for the morning…..and here is the problem for me.

You know that guy who is fine when no one bothers or says anything to him?   However, when you give him the least bit of encouragement….he implodes?????well….That was me!  Call it test Anxiety..

It was a nightmare!  I second guessed every score I put on the test!  I’m not sure what lever was pulled in my brain, but the red lights and alarms were either shut off OR they were so loud that I began to panic! 

So…basically I scored ….Hmmm…let’s say, WELL below the average for myself.  And “slightly” below the minimum “passing” score.  

Now I’m no newbie to failure.   If you read this blog often enough, you will note many hilarious moments where things did not go my way.  It is my method of Therapy after all….to laugh about the bad things and try to learn from then….AFTER I have calmed down for several hours.

It is difficult to express the feeling, because:   you are not “fired” when you bomb one of these things.   Nope!   They simply put you in a corner with a big white hat and ask that you “review” you anchor papers for a while to get back on track.   It’s fitting really,  I mean…..that is what calibration is all about.  After reading thousands of essays, you tend to “drift” and you have to get back in line….like a precision tool or a sharp knife. 

The problem for me is that I felt as if I was a sharp knife that had been dropped in the garbage disposal while it was on!  Like I was back in Basic Training and failed the Grenade Test!    I survived, but was a little shell shocked. 

As mentioned before…I seem to enjoy Failure.    For pretty much only one reason….I get to “learn” something new.   What was the lesson?   Well:  Keep a stiff upper lip!  As the Brits say.  You see…I’m a table leader.   I’m “Supposed” to be the “leader” of my motley crew of scorers, so they can ask me advice and questions about tough papers.   I’m their fearless leader,  Rock SOLID in my scoring!   Dependable, Reliable. 

  But…..that is not really my brand of leadership.   I happen to know that even the most SUPERMAN of leaders is still human.   They are just better at “faking’ it in front of  their subordinates.   And I actually don’t mind showing off my flaws from time to time.   No one is perfect.   And it doesn’t take much to be better than me….so I try to keep things “real”. 

So,  There it is.  I lead by example and prove that the “worst case scenario” does not kill you…..physically anyway.  Whenever my table has a “less than desirable calibration”,  I can reassure them that they’ll be fine and just review….”Heck I bombed one before!”   I can imagine that if anyone from the project is reading this, they will probably be horrified that I’m actually “in charge” of anything.  But for the sake of Comedy and entertainment,  I write so I can find the humor in the tragic…..and I can “learn”  something……I guess.

Other than that,  the project is wrapping up…probably next week sometime and today they brought in Pizza and Cupcakes.   I was fond of the chicken BBQ and three Cheese Pizza.  Tomorrow is our 15 mile Training run in Prep for the Twin Cities Marathon.   Cheryl wants to get up early so we can harness the cooler air….and hopefully be done early enough to get fresh donuts from Dunkin’Donuts.    I cant wait!   Hope Everyone is having a great weekend so far.  Enjoy my little skit and hopefully you will at least have had a chuckle.